Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in trippinoutlaw's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Sunday, December 6th, 2009
4:32 pm	careening around coherence still waiting for some numinous location....or loquacious vocation. Not exactly what i mean - but idly sitting by while i while i wait impatiently but complacently for some uprising of will or impression of passion to overcome this apathy...or pained insouciance...which i suppose negates the latter term....as insouciance is care-free by definition.....but nevertheless i will mash the two together to somehow compile the apparentness of what i mean to convey. A lack of concern that encompasses this awareness of the wasting of my days....with such dedicated distraction - that not even a moment of clarity could gleam through on a diamonds edge - for the ever blurring images merge together in this endless stream of meaninglessness....meaningless shit that i pass before my eyes continuously....for i follow the commands of my fears mindlessly - unconscious directives headed instantly before they even constellate in some conscious fashion - which is dangerous - because to act on impulse is only prone to purity before your soul and will have been beaten - when your propensity is toward withdrawal and avoidance - then the beauty of life in bloom will never come to fruition without clear mental volition....these undercurrents have such a pull inward and out - downward toward stagnant waters - away from the shore and beaches rife w/ peoples and bonfires - "great golden copulations".....as it were..........."oh i knew the gas was gone but i had to rev the motor"........sputter sputter stop.....shit (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 25th, 2009
6:10 am	I think i could skip work, and listen to modest mouse all day ....or maybe some ugly casanova "Woke up this morning and it seemed to me, that every night turns out to be A little more like Bukowski. And yeah, I know he's a pretty good read. But God who'd wanna be? God who'd wanna be such an asshole?" (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
12:12 pm	this isnt quite how id like it - but at least its some expression - words in succession the gnarled fingers of arthritic trees clutching wildly at the morning sky, dying their joints creaking and snapping in the cold sway of freezing winter breeze breaking with the ice they're encased in like the painful curling of an old mans hand reaching heavenward his body inert in the earth - a choreographed gasp - rising from the mouth of the grave enacting a petition for mercy  - with such whimpering supplication (Comment on this)
9:22 am	"roller boogie mother fucker" permafrost traverses permeates my epidermis My cowardice makes me nauseas .............................................. innocuous weather innocuous light the semi darkness of dusk has dulled god to our minds ............ "One Two into the amplifier, One Two into the amplifier And you got to get to, Into the amplifier One Two into the amplifier The electrified Two, into the amplifier One Two into the amplifier And you got to get to, into the amplifier One Two into the ampliFIER" Current Mood: eerie empty engine (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
9:22 am	"Like waves in which you drown me, shouting Waves in which you drown me, shouting Waves in which you drown me shouting" The occasional transmission - and indelible stain can you hear me? (Comment on this)
Monday, September 14th, 2009
8:12 pm	is anyone out there happy? I asked you that now I'll tell you this its time to die so make it snappy (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 16th, 2009
5:43 am	piss poor sleep and alcoholic nightmares last night i drowned in an ocean of water pouring down a concrete slope - that was suddenly covered - and boxed in - with me inside - holding my breath as it ran past me - suspended - holding the hand of a friend while we waited to die..... finally i remembered i was dreaming - and thought well if i just breath the water in i'll wake up....tho couldnt do it - then remembered i could just wake up - and forced consciousness.... other strangeness - after i fell back asleep - these nights are so exhausting lately. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
6:13 pm	my mornings recitation the things i do, the things ive done yeah i guess its true ive had some fun its true too ive lost the sun at least once or twice on each and every single one of my runs But its getting dark so early this time I think its time i leave this town - behind me go somewhere that these sounds can't find me though they've reverberated past state lines     at times         after me and the drunken lines ive garnered - in proper succession Some junkies live forever some die young ------------------------------------- im so angry about everything this time you see these hours have scraped me so shallow im aching burnt like a victim -------------------------------------- im doomed to a life of anonymity warm beer and mild weather i know wild leather nude intensity and promise of painful eternity -------------------------------------- I guess the end is this... Holy Shit! - FUCK THIS! Current Music: Shannon Hoone (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 2nd, 2009
5:50 am	struck delirious by the splendor - of a sun-drenched mornings fever yellow streams breaking over broad shouldered trees sky-born prisms enumerating beams Excuse the years I've burned, oh muse Please return (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009
2:28 pm	"I'm sure i didn't ruin her - i just made her more interesting" "I don't love you i'm just passing the time You could love me if i knew how to lie But who could love me i am out of my mind throwing a line out to sea To see if i can catch a dream" (Comment on this)
10:57 am	"we became as mad as rabbits - with bushels of bad habits" lsd and a funny hat (along w/ speed and boatloads of xanax) those were good vibrations those days - I was riding a nice crest into shore Now I'm feeling like a beached whale... Please bring me back out to sea (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 19th, 2009
5:47 pm	give me safety and retreat and refuge from the streets so shocked and frozen by the people that i meet (Comment on this)
6:00 am	oh so emo....in concept not in feeling...dig it? "So keep the blood in your head And keep your feet on the ground If today's the day it gets tired Today's the day we drop out Gave up my body in bed All for an empty hotel Wasting words on lower cases and capitals ... I lie for only you... I lie well... hallelu..." .......... "Hi I'm roger - I like to pretend" (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 18th, 2009
4:11 pm	woman - way down inside - you need LOVE im just so bored of the inspid discourse that qualifies as conversation these days in my life.  I mean - where is the "little girl lost" w/ the big eyes and the mad mind?....who can match me thought for thought into the wee hours of the night?....seroiusly if i watch one more hour of television i may die. I suppose one needs to put themselves out there to recieve any vibrations of genius.... I'd love to be caught speechless - in awe of someones crystal vision.... - as opposed to frozen in motion - due to grinding tension and a sense of discomfort - tightening the valves of the mind - abating thought - and offering more trite comments - to perpetuate the meaningless dialogue.... Current Mood: uhh fuck it Current Music: shake for me girl - wanna be your back door man (Comment on this)
5:39 am	been dazed and confused for so long its not true there's something about a hangover that makes the day easier to take....this thick fog curling about me - enshrouding me in clouds - muffling the sounds from about.  I mean - it has its drawbacks....obviously - but i like the way the volume - of at least the intent and meaning of the sounds is turned way down - so that you can choose to decide if you care - before deciphering. yesterday i repeated this in my head again and again  - every second that i fake is one more than i can fucking take Current Mood: hungover Current Music: Led Zeppelin - Dazed and Confused (Comment on this)
Friday, July 17th, 2009
4:14 pm	give me a minute now to figure out my state Its happening again....the wheels spinning faster, the cyclical madness accelerating....strange lines and explanations - moments of pure illumination....and rapid upswing of the rising darkness...yin and yang swapping madly.....but i accept it gladly.  In a sense.  Only in a sense.  For the confusion and sharp accents on banal phrases make such common conversation into insane ancient tabloids read aloud....whats my line again?....shit..... and so it goes.... I got home from work today - got out a glass, and dropped in a few cubes of ice.  Grabbed my bottle of johnny walker out the cupboard and poured it in - then chugged it straight.... Fuck these loud churning gears...picking up speed and grinding out the rust....a little alcohol ought to loosen em up.... (Comment on this)
5:51 am	oh my jesus, oh my gina "if my wings should fail me lord oh please meet me w/ another pair well, well, well, SO I CAN DIE EASY" if there was something worth saying....don't you think i would have???....want kind of game do you think im playing?.....jesus did you really think i was staying??....oh christ thats clever - thats fresh.... "have on more twenty more one mores it does not relent" (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 12th, 2009
8:07 pm	im drunk again...... (Comment on this)
Friday, July 3rd, 2009
4:43 pm	"We could not have a fling in shit in our modern suits and ties" ah...ah...ah..... im MOTHERFUCKIN SUFFOCATING!! (Comment on this)
6:30 am	conjoined stoned phrases When i was younger i could get high off the sound But i guess thats why they say An underdeveloped brain is much easier to drown Now Such halted joys Interrupted streams & Tributaries Moments of solitary Bliss dismissed (Comment on this)